Surprise! (And some background...)

Well as the address of this blog says, I am adopting from China.

(I will wait while you pick your jaw up off the floor.)



Now.  I know that to some people this comes as a total shock, and that others are yelling, "What took you so long?"  So here's just a little  kind of long background on how I got to this point.

When I was 20 years old, I met a friend named Whitney.  Her parents had, just before I met them, adopted a little boy from the Ukraine.  They had room in their home and their hearts and wanted to add to their family.  Their children were all in their late teens/early twenties.  At the time I was obsessed with Russian culture and so found the adoption of their son fascinating.  I tried to talk my parents into adopting (they laughed at me).  So adoption was tucked away in my heart, as something that I might consider someday.

Fast forward a few years...I was 25 and not married.  I have wanted to be a mom for as long as I can remember, and without the prospect of a husband on the horizon, I started bargaining with myself.  When I'm this old, I'll adopt. When I get to this point in my life, I'll adopt. When I was 25, I said, "Oh, maybe if I am 30 and still single."  I loved meeting friends who had adopted and getting to understand the process.  It's such a beautiful thing, adoption, and I loved learning more about it.

At age 30, I had just finished my Master's degree and was beginning my third year of teaching.  In the back of my mind I acknowledged my old promise to myself, but decided to push it off a few years.  Well, if I am still single by the time I am 35, or maybe 40, then I'll consider it. I was just getting established on my own, and so I really was in no place to adopt.  But it was always a someday.

In 2011 I transferred schools from where I had been teaching to where I teach now.  I met my now dear friend Laura on one of my first days on the job and found out she was in the process of adopting.  I got very excited and said, "Oh, I hope to adopt someday."  Laura was very kind to answer questions I had. At the end of that school year, after bombarding her with questions throughout the year, Laura offered to meet me one day for dessert to answer any questions I had.  My questions mostly circled around how I could adopt as a single, if I was right to adopt as a single, and what types of children were available to me.  This conversation was a big blessing to me, but still, I sat and waited.

In May 2013, I attended the Christian Alliance for Orphans Summit 9 in Nashville.  I was still very committed to the idea of "someday," but also knew that my heart would be changed leaving that conference (and it was).  On the last night, we were challenged to write down something we would do this year, be it working in orphan care, praying for others, giving financially, or adopting.  I wrote down "DO something."  I had been thinking and praying for so long and letting fear stop me in the process.  (Which - I will address some of my specific fears in a future post!)  And yet I waited five more months.

In the beginning of October, I told a friend of mine that I thought I had decided on a country.  Later that same week, another friend asked me when I was going to start this process.  I said, "Well, I think I want to adopt from {Country A}.  I wish I could adopt from China, but I just don't think I would qualify."  She encouraged me to talk to an agency and just ask the questions.  So I did, that Friday evening. The agency I spoke to (who I am working with and they've been nothing but wonderful so far!) encouraged me to fill out a pre-application, and they'd look at it and let me know.  It took me another week to get moving, but I finally submitted my pre-application and Medical Conditions Checklist to an agency that works in China to adopt from China's Special Focus program.  I submitted that on October 22 and received an email that I was waiting for a referral on October 23.

So where that left me was waiting for a referral call (a call to look at the file of a specific child).  The way my agency works with single parent applicants is that they match you with a child from the Special Focus list, then get approval from China, then do the crazy, infamous paper chase.  The reasoning behind this is that they don't want you to be financially committed and then be told that China will not approve you for whatever reason.  But my agency feels very confident that, because of the flexibility of the Special Focus program, I will be approved without a problem.  So I settled in for a 6 to 12 month wait for a match.